White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
