ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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