I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
