So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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