guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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