Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
