You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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