She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
