so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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