ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Randomize
