I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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