scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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