So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
sex in a hospital.. check
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
