I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
