At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
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