dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
