I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
