i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
okay pat passed out under dana's car
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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