Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
