go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
