I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
