Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
