Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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