Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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