you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
