Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
