Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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