I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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