Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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