you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
