Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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