i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
