He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
