He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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