Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
