Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
