Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
