Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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