He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I skipped work to stalk him.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
