are you still at the devil's house?
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
