Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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