i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
