we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
