so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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