oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
