we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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