I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
