I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I'm like, not good at living.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
