Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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