There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
